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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24217036">Like A Dream That You Can´t Quite Place</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekindworthreading/pseuds/thekindworthreading'>thekindworthreading</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hamilton - Miranda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Costume Parties &amp; Masquerades, Fluff, Insecurity, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:01:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24217036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekindworthreading/pseuds/thekindworthreading</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Masks. Music. And in the middle of it all: Alexander Hamilton.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Like A Dream That You Can´t Quite Place</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/gagakuma/gifts">gagakuma</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my part of a collab I did with @gagakuma, who made amazing art for it on tumblr! Which you can find here: gagakumadraws.tumblr.com/post/618285036215648256/masks-reveal-the-shape-of-your-soul-and-the-state</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It feels like stepping into another world. The candlelight gives the room a dreamlike atmosphere, the bodies of the hundreds of guests moving like shadows. Alex stops in the door for a moment. Trying to calm his too fast-beating heart. He fiddles with the mask he is wearing – a green, black and silver one – colours that compliment his eyes, or so he has been told. He is wearing a suit in the same shade of green, with silver embellishments creating an entrancing pattern, in a soft and at the same time heavy material, that has probably cost more than what he earns in a whole year full of hard work. He feels out of place and his hands are sweaty and have probably soaked through the gloves, that he is wearing.</p><p>For a moment he considers just turning back and running away from all of this – from the responsibilities, from the danger and from his heart. He considers leaving all this behind and living his life as he had always done – free and without needing anyone.</p><p>Before he can do that, though, he gets already swept into the room and loses sight of the door. His heart flutters in his chest, both from anxiety and anticipation. He feels like all eyes in the ballroom are on him, but knows that can´t be true. There are hushed whispers all around him and more than once he thinks he has heard his name. He knows that it is impossible – no one knows he is here. No one knows <em>who</em> he is. At least for now.</p><p>The air is hot and stuffy and seems to Alex like he is moving in slow motion, while everyone around him moves a lot faster, the room spinning around him. His blood is rushing in his ears, blocking out all other sounds. He feels trapped and at the same time far away from everything around him. People keep bumping into him, but he barely notices, that is until he feels someone pressing up behind him, steadying him with his hands on his hips.</p><p>Almost instantly, he feels calmer and the world shifts into place again. He leans back against the solid chest of Aaron, leaning his head against his shoulder and glancing up at him. He is wearing a mask too – his being of a dark blue with silver applications that almost look like constellations of stars. His mask nearly conceals his whole face, but Alex knows that it´s him.</p><p>“I am glad that you came.”, Aaron says quietly, but Alex can hear it loud and clear, even through the racket of hundreds of voices.</p><p>“Me too.”, Alex gives back. “Did you think I wouldn´t?”</p><p>Alex has to ask. He has to know if Aaron doubted him because he had doubted himself. He didn´t think he would actually come until he was standing in front of the castle, his invitation clutched tightly in his hand.</p><p>His lover smiles at him, reaching up and softly stroking his cheek. For a moment Alex is paralyzed, almost expecting that someone notices them and figures out who they are. When no one pays them any attention though, Alex relaxes once more into the embrace, and when Aaron traces his lower lip with his thumb, he can´t help the shudder passing through his whole body.</p><p>“I always knew you would come.”, Aaron whispers into his ear, his voice full of confidence.</p><p>Before Alex can respond, Aaron suddenly spins him around, so that they are chest to chest and takes one of his hands in his, while the other one rests on his back. All around them couples are taking the same position and starting to move to the music Alex is only now aware of. He doesn´t really know the steps, but Aaron guides him with a secure and confident hand, and Alex just follows him, trusting him completely. Somehow it works, even though Alex thinks it shouldn´t work – both the dance and their relationship. He watches the other couples spinning around, amazed that no one seems to notice who they are – who Aaron is.</p><p>“Are you sure about this?”, Aaron asks after some time.</p><p>Out of the corner of his eye he sees Aaron watching him intensely, and he just can´t bring himself to look him in the eye. Instead he observes the people around him – a crowd he shouldn´t be part of.</p><p>“No.”, he says honestly, because Aaron would know if he´d lie, he always somehow knows. “But I´m sure about us.”</p><p>He turns to look Aaron in the eyes, which are normally guarded, but right now Alex can see every emotion in them – wonder, fear and love. He gives him a tentative smile, his heart still beating loud and fast in his chest, but now it´s from anticipation instead of anxiety. When Aaron´s lips curl into a smile too, Alex is blown away once more, like he always is when Aaron shows his emotions and doesn´t hide them behind a mask, as ironic as it is with him wearing an actual mask at the moment.</p><p>Alex almost doesn´t notice the song ending, only really coming back to the present when Aaron eases them to a stop.</p><p>“You still have time until midnight. You can still turn away from all of this.”</p><p>Alex nods.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>He wants to promise Aaron that he will stay, it´s on the tip of his tongue, but somehow, he can´t bring himself to make that promise. He is still too afraid that he will break it. That he will break Aaron´s heart and trust.</p><p>Aaron just looks at him and Alex feels like he is waiting for him to say more like he always does, but for once he remains silent. Finally, his lover nods, his smile a little less sure, but still so full of love and adoration.</p><p>“Do you want to get a drink?”</p><p>Honestly, Alex just wants to stay exactly where they are, pressed together, their hearts beating as one, but at last he nods, reluctantly stepping out of Aarons embrace. With the contact lost, it feels like a spell is broken. All Alex wants to do is run away and never come back, dread coursing through his veins at the thought of what´s to come at the end of the night. The delicate silver ring on his finger feels suddenly more like a prison than a promise.</p><p>“Alexander?”, Aaron says quietly. Insistently.</p><p>He takes a deep breath and swallows, guiding his thoughts to more pleasant prospects of what´s to come. As always, he thinks about what it will be like to wake up next to each other, to finally be able to love each other without the constant fear of being caught.</p><p>“Let´s get something to drink.”, Alex says.</p><p>He hopes that the alcohol will help calm his nerves, even though he doesn´t plan on drinking more than one glass. Aaron takes one of his hands in his, intertwining their fingers. Once more, Alex is fascinated by them, glancing down at how Aaron´s fingers elegantly wrap around his.</p><p>Once they have reached the side of the ballroom, where the crowd isn´t that dense anymore, Alex stops Aaron, looking up at him.</p><p>“I will stay.”, he says, trying to put as much conviction in his voice as he can.</p><p>When he sees Aaron´s eyes light up, he knows it´s a promise he can keep.</p><p>The next hours pass by in a blur, the only constant being Aaron by his side. A few minutes before midnight, Aaron pulls Alex behind the stage on which two thrones are looking over the ballroom.</p><p>“You can still back out. I would understand.”, Aaron says, and Alex believes every word of it.</p><p>He leans up, and presses a kiss to Aaron´s lips – the first one of the evening – and like always, he gets completely lost in it. Kissing Aaron always feels like a dream, one from which Alex never wants to wake up again.</p><p>“Okay, so we´re doing this.”, Aaron says, once they part again.</p><p>“We are.”, Alex confirms.</p><p>This time it´s Alex who grabs Aaron´s hand, smiling up at him. Just as the clock strikes midnight, they take the steps up to the stage. Alexander can feel his breathing becoming rapid and shallow, cold sweat making his mask stick to his face even more. His pulse is beating in his temples, the noise almost drowning out everything else. He can´t believe he is actually doing this. His legs are weak, shaking with every step he takes. He is glad that he gets to hold onto Aaron´s hand, because he doesn´t think he would manage to keep upright without it.</p><p>“Ladies and Gentlemen! King Aaron!”, one of the servants announces.</p><p>When they take the first steps onto the stage a murmur goes through the crowd, everyone turning to look at them. A moment later, the room is completely silent, so silent that Alex is sure everyone can hear how loud his heart is beating in his chest.</p><p>“Ladies and Gentlemen!”, Aaron starts, and his loud voice startles Alex, and he is only barely able to suppress flinching at it.</p><p>“Welcome, to the annual masquerade ball! As always, it´s a pleasure to welcome you all here in my home. This year especially, I have exciting news to share, as many of you already suspected.”</p><p>He turns to look at Alex, giving him a smile, before he faces the crowd again.</p><p>“I want to announce my engagement to Alexander Hamilton.”</p><p>At that, the murmurs in the hall increase again, but a moment later they turn into applause and shouts of congratulations. Alex feels himself relaxing a bit, his heart still beating fast, but it´s more from anticipation than fear. It still feels too good to be true, but with every second Aaron doesn´t let go of his hand, it´s easier to believe.</p><p>“I´m glad you stayed.”, Aarons says as he draws him closer.</p><p>Instead of an answer, Alex kisses him, and like far away he hears the crowd cheering.</p><p><em>Me too</em>, he thinks, <em>me too</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You can find me on tumblr @whatdidimissjm :)<br/>Comments always make my day so much better, so don´t be afraid to leave them haha</p></blockquote></div></div>
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